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        美國留學(xué):ps被秒拒的6種開頭匯總

        2013年02月21日來源:美國留學(xué)網(wǎng)作者: 萬佳留學(xué)
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         美國留學(xué)個人陳述寫作非常重要,個人陳述能彌補(bǔ)你的硬件傷,為自己的申請加分,因此常常能決定申請的成敗。尤其是在美國留學(xué)申請競爭日趨激烈的今天,個人陳述的寫作更顯的重要。美國留學(xué)網(wǎng)資深留學(xué)顧問為大家總結(jié)了在寫個人陳述的開頭段時要注意的問題,避免被一眼秒拒掉。

          一、重復(fù)簡歷型

          I earned my Bachelor of Science degree in … Sciences with a specialization in … in 2002 at … university

          點(diǎn)評:美國留學(xué)個人陳述不要去重復(fù)簡歷中的東西,這在很多學(xué)校的PS要求中明確提到,個人陳述的寫作要具體到事件上,事件解決上,而不要單純重復(fù)已有的內(nèi)容。

          二、學(xué)校介紹型

          I am an undergraduate in…University , the largest university anda cradle of scientific and technological talents in China.

          點(diǎn)評:該同學(xué)的個人陳述開頭等于是一個申請學(xué)校的簡介,這好像是在幫助學(xué)校做宣傳,或表達(dá)你有多了解該學(xué)校,而不是寫個人陳述了。這是沒有意義的開頭,白白浪費(fèi)了字?jǐn)?shù),最容易被秒據(jù)掉。

          三、抄襲句式型

          As a student majoring in Computer Science, I began my odyssey since I entered undergraduate program. Indeed, having entered this splendid computer world, I am more than greedy for something new.

          點(diǎn)評:Odyssey 和more than greedy for something new 這種句式不知道是從哪里學(xué)到的,很多同學(xué)在用。但你要知道,老外最恨抄襲,最喜原創(chuàng),所以利害關(guān)系大家想想吧。

          四、救世主型

          I am a problem solver. I have an impulse as a kind of instincts to solvevarious problems before me and enjoy doing that. Since I was a little boy, a voice from President Franklin Roosevelt has constantly hovered around my mind, "The world can be changed by man's endeavor, …

          點(diǎn)評:一副救世主的形象,小時候就受富蘭克林的影響,立志改變世界。個人陳述的寫作一定要個人化具體化,別吹大牛,甚至帶著一種霸權(quán)主義思維。

          五、猶抱琵琶型

          Making a right decision at the right time is very important for a young people .At present, I have come to a critical point in my life when I have to make a decision concerning my future course of action. Only a perceptive understanding of oneself will enable one to chart his proper action. Aftercarefully thinking, reviewing my life and analyzing my personality, I make the determination and choose to apply for graduate study in XXX. And I choose to specialize in communications which I will pursue a lifelong career.

          點(diǎn)評:重點(diǎn)放在自己要做重大決定上了,人生的轉(zhuǎn)折點(diǎn),然后來上句所謂名言警句。浪費(fèi)字?jǐn)?shù),有限的字?jǐn)?shù)里,同學(xué)們應(yīng)該學(xué)會直接,并且抓住重點(diǎn),突出自己最有優(yōu)勢的方面,最有特色的方面。

          六、言幼稚型

          'Why the gecko can climb on the wall while we can't-' 'Why the leaves turn red in autumn' 'How many stars are there in the sky-' When I was in childhood, I always kept asking my mom all kinds of questions。I am especially interested in how things work, I can even take apart things for several hours in order to find out its principle.

          點(diǎn)評:上來就回憶童年少年自己如何有著遠(yuǎn)大抱負(fù),who cares。個人陳述字?jǐn)?shù)有限,卻用這么多話描述童年,沒有任何意義。學(xué)校想知道你如何看待未來,而不是如何度過過去。

          美國留學(xué)網(wǎng)提醒大家,以上六種美國留學(xué)個人陳述的開頭方式一定要盡力避免,申請美國大學(xué)的申請人越來越多,申請競爭越來越激烈,大家精心準(zhǔn)備的個人陳述希望成為大家被錄取的亮點(diǎn),而不是成為大家申請成功的絆腳石。

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